My girlfriend’s awe-inspiring time management skills

This is a summary of the events that happen after cautious planning of mostly every standard date.
Luckily for me, she [my girlfriend] is always planning ahead; trying real hard to be ready on time, even hours before the previously-established pick-up time — so her significant other doesn’t die of old age while idly waiting for her to be ready to go out.

“I’m ready” #1

This one usually happens via WhatsApp. That first “I’m ready,” is just a volatile reaction that originates from the excitement that arises from finally knowing what shoes she’s wearing. Don’t fall for that — she still has to choose one perfume out of four. This usually takes 15–20 minutes on a happy day.

“I’m ready” #2

Just a mirror check, t he final primping . The classic, exhaustive evaluation to make sure her hair is right. This will take around 20 minutes barring unforeseen but “necessary” wardrobe changes.

“I’m ready” #3

This involves actually walking to the door like it’s time to go, this time for real — but don’t be fooled — especially not now when the purse swap has begun. This process involves transferring all the crap she might need from one bag to the other. “Babe, do you think I’ll need my sunglasses for the movies?” I better bring them just in case.” These are the longest 5 minutes of your existence because you’re just standing there with your hand on the knob ready to roll.

“I’m ready” #4

This one usually means it’s time to go. Unless she’s suddenly remembered she wanted to wear the pretty shiny and sparkly silver flats instead of the plain white ones. If this is the case, go back to number 2.

“I’m ready” #5

The fifth “I’m ready” takes place in the car — thank the Old Gods and the New. You know, when she proceeds to dump all the contents of her purse out on the dashboard and pops open the visor to finish doing her makeup. Because, you know, it is your fault she didn’t have time to get her face right.
These are the 5 “I’m ready”s I usually have to dreadfully endure, EVERY. SINGLE. DATE. Around 1.5 hours per date is the price I have to pay for dating the most wonderful, superhot woman I know.